Well that was an overreaction. <—- What an understatement.

First off. Thank you to those of you who commented even when I said you didn’t need to. It’s nice to know you care enough to ignore my wishes :P. Just kidding. I appreciate all comments. I don’t moderate any of them (even thought that tells you what I’m doing), I just keep it set like that so I don’t miss responding to any!

Yesterday. At the time it felt like the weight of the world was resting on my head, well, the weight of my world anyway. Today I just feel silly because I overreacted so badly. Not stupid anymore, but silly. I am highly emotional. And I’m always afraid of doing things wrong. Not a good combination. Plus I don’t always have confidence in certain abilities – like Navigation; I think I’m better at it then I realize, or maybe it was just luck.

First I will start by talking about the good stuff because it happened first. Saturday night quickly turned into Sunday morning and it was 3am before I went to bed. I had my alarm set for 10 so I could get a decent amount of sleep, but not sleep the day away. 9am – Bastien comes down on his own and decides to tell me it’s time to wake up. He knocks, but I don’t hear him. He knows he can’t come in my room without asking, but lately he’s been ‘forgetting’ that fact. He’ll come to tell me a meal is ready and he just waltzes in. I only say something because it’s a rule that he has to ask first. So he knocks and without a response opens my door to tell me to get up. This wouldn’t normally be too bad except for the late hour I settled in for the night. And Sundays are ‘my day’. I ended up going back to bed for another hour.

We had Maëline’s baptism that afternoon so I tried to dress nicely. Except that the one pair of dress pants I brought with me don’t fit the greatest. The style is ‘loose’. Okay, not a problem. Except that now I’m kind of drowning in them. Well, not drowning, but they’re bigger on me then they were when I got here. That’s nice, but they looked a bit sloppy. This really isn’t important. I followed Greg with my car because they were going to visit a friend after and I was coming back with the boys. I got to use my new GPS for the first time! It was pouring rain and we were late, but we made it. I ended up being a bit behind them; my car doesn’t have the guts that Greg’s has. After the baptism – which was a little crazy with kids everywhere – we went to Aurore and Jeff’s house. They just moved back in. They were in France for a year and were living with Sybille for the last few months. So I’m in a town I don’t know. There are all kinds of wonderful goodies there, but what I’m really craving is my Mom’s homemade pumpkin pie. My thoughts are with my Mom’s side of the family as they were gathering for Thanksgiving dinner at the time. Today it’s my Dad’s side. My sister and Will had/have to work both days. What a bummer. At least they get leftovers!

When it was time to leave we transferred the kids and their stuff into my car and I went to set up my GPS. Location: Home. Remember, I am in a town I’ve never been to before. TomTom (the GPS brand I have) asks if I want to go from my last known location (the church). I say no. It waits for a signal. And it waits and it waits…I tried again, thinking that maybe if I hit yes it would just alternate the route once I was moving. No dice. I went as far as I could with what I remembered (which was far) and still, no GPS signal. Now, it was cloudy and rainy and getting dark, but that shouldn’t matter right? So already I’m getting stressed out. I’ve got two kids in the car who are tired and hungry. It’s already 6:45 and normally we eat at 7. The drive home was 40 minutes. How do I get home? I’m far enough away that I don’t know how to get back to Aurore and Jeff’s house. Things are not looking good. I know that once I reach the 411 (or signs telling me how to get there) that I’m golden. From there it’s just a little past Louvain-la-Neuve which I’ve been to many times. So I try to get to a main road to get my bearings. Somehow I manage. It didn’t take me that long (I wasn’t driving around in circles or anything), but I was not impressed. This machine is brand new. What the heck. Maybe it was Greg’s fault (:P). He was the last person to touch/look at it before we left. Ha ha. It searched and searched for a GPS signal the entire way home. I left that part on because I was curious to see if it would work.

We arrive at home. I get the boys their bottles and Bastien something to eat. I have to find some medication for Sylvain because he’s sick. I have one of three parts. It’s liquid stuff I have to put in a machine that turns it into a gas and he has breathe it in. It’s to clear up his breathing. I didn’t know where the stuff was. Normally it’s in the dining room in a little sack. Before we left I think Adeline had mentioned something about upstairs and Greg putting it away and I don’t know. So I go upstairs to search. Adeline has all this stuff (medications, band aids, cough syrup, etc.) organized into bins. I start searching. After looking through two on one side and a cupboard I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. So I’m getting more frustrated because I have to give him this medication and I can’t find it. Bastien needs to get ready for bed because he has school the next day and I know tomorrow morning is not going to be fun if he doesn’t sleep. I am tired from the night before and I’m stressed and crying because of the GPS and this medicine incident. This is where it gets worse. Now that it’s over I can say it wasn’t that bad. Things got cleaned up and I don’t think anything is permanently damaged. At the time though I was freaking out! Let me explain:

There is this bottle of liquid that you put on wet areas of your skin to dry them out; rashes, chicken pox, and the like. It is a dark red. It stains anything it touches and it doesn’t come out of clothes so you have to be super careful until it dries. It was in the box with the band-aids which was on top of another bin I wanted to search through. I am on the step stool. I am careful as I bring down the bin, but not careful enough. The lid must not have been secured right because the entire thing fell out of my grasp and into the sink. Including the bottle of red what’s-it-called. Instead of falling into the sink, that fell onto the floor. The lid broke. Red liquid flies everywhere. Including the carpet by the tub and some clothes that were on the floor. This is about the worst thing that could have happened. The only thing worse being if the boys were in there with me. They were downstairs. Sylvain crying in his chair and Bastien playing. I felt super horrible for Sylvain (he could have been playing too), but I had to at least get a handle on cleaning this mess up.

My first reaction: 3 seconds of wailing and thinking ‘oh my goodness what am I going to do?’. Then I get down to business. I start filling the tub with cold water. I know cold water is amazing at removing stains if you get the clothes in it asap. I throw anything clothing/cloth related into the tub. I run downstairs to fill the mop bucket with cold water. I contemplate the mop contraption before thinking I don’t want to chance permanently staining the cloth red. In hindsight, that wouldn’t have been a big deal, there are 3 of those and they can go in the washer and they’re for floors after all. Plus, once that red stuff sets it’s not going anywhere. I decided on an old rag and good old elbow grease on my hands and knees. I figured I would have a better handle/chance at really scrubbing if I did that. I have to move quick because I don’t want that stuff to dry. It’s everywhere. Thick in the middle of the floor, but sprayed under the counter, on the scale (which happens to be mostly white), a bit on the side of the tub, everywhere. I get the worst of it wiped up, the first layer. I got over it a 2nd time clearing a path to the potty for Bastien. I call him up because he really needs to go to bed. I tell him to start getting undressed and come and go pee. He has issues with his shirt because it’s one that button up the front. He tries multiple times with no luck. As he’s sitting on the potty and I’m on my knees wiping I try to explain the steps needed to undo his shirt. He almost gets it, but then doesn’t. I can’t touch him because my hands are super red and wet. I take a break from wiping to rinse my hands as best I can (already super stained) and get them as dry as I can so I can help him out of his shirt and into his pj’s. I end up using my t-shirt as a barrier (because I’m not sure if my hands are dry enough yet) to undo the buttons. Somehow this works. He gets into bed with no problems. He can tell I’m not having a good time and he knows that the stuff on the bathroom floor is not good because he’s been told many times to be really careful with it.

I go over the rest of the floor another time. All that’s left is a thin layer which may or may not come off. The bathroom hasn’t been redone yet, so I know that with in the next few years that floor is going in the garbage. But still, I want to get as much off as possible. I finally call Adeline to ask about the medication. This is when I start to feel stupid. Before I was just stressed, upset, frustrated, and crying my eyes out. I also randomly thought of Cinderella and thought if I tried to sing that song she sings in the movie (Disney) while she’s scrubbing the floor on her hands and knees that it will help. It did (it calmed me down a bit) and it didn’t (I still felt in way over my head). So I ask where the medication is. She asks Greg. It’s in the dining room, in the little sack, in the box of the new machine they got for the application of said medication. I feel like an idiot, it was right in front of me the entire time. It’s the one place I didn’t look and if I had, well, all that other stuff wouldn’t have happened. This is what I mean about no common sense. Common sense would have dictated looking in the box. I’ve tried to work on this area where I’m lacking, but sometimes I truly act like I haven’t a brain. I just don’t think. So, Sylvain is medicated and in bed. Silence. I can now finish cleaning in peace and for the first time that night true calm settles over me as I realize that with good timing, cold water, and a lot of elbow grease you can get rid of almost any stain. I went over that floor (with fresh water) a few more times. I just wanted to do the best I could. I know there are products I could have used, and everyone will have a different opinion, but I can never remember exactly what they use on the floors and if I choose something like that it would be the wrong thing and then it would make things worse. That always happens. This turned into one of those times when that was an okay decision. I just didn’t want to make things any worse than they already were. Even the clothes are alright which is a feat in and of itself.

Of course by the time Greg and Adeline were back home I had calmed down enough that I was regretting my blog post and realizing that it really wasn’t the end of the world. They said they never liked that floor anyway. And it could have been so much worse! I could have gotten it on the wood floor, or the kids, or so many other things. That it was confined to me and the bathroom was a blessing. I know it’s always harder to be calm when it’s you in the situation, but I still felt that it was just so bad. They joked that they were glad it was them! With the kids and everything they recognized it was not an easy task. So, except for a slight pinkish tinge to the floor (depending on the light), my slowly fading red stained hands, and an empty bottle of whatever that stuff was, you really can’t tell anything happened. It was nowhere near the end of the world. It was definitely not the huge catastrophe I made it out to be (hence why I feel so silly). If I would have been fully rested maybe my reactions would have been different. I’d like to think that. But I know myself, and I’m almost positive I would have reacted the same way had I not been super tired. I was also wearing my contacts which were dry and my eyes hurt and then with all the crying I had make-up running into my eyes and before I wiped them I looked like I had the crap beat out of my face (well, my eyes anyway) and ugh. Stinging, burning eyes. Nothing was working last night. Except for Bastien. He was wonderful. The only issue I had was when I tried to take it shirt off. He kept backing up and it was already hard enough because I had a layer of t-shirt to work through!

Being an emotional person I have the ability to be extremely happy with little effort. Or rather, little things can make me extremely happy (like the weather today; typical for fall: sunny, cloudy, windy, a little chilly…). This also means that I can have moments of super…I don’t want to say depression because I’ve never been diagnosed with it and I know it’s a serious issue, but it’s like that I think. A lot of numbness and not caring. Not wanting to be around anymore, but not so much to actually self inflict anything. It’s just, I guess, really intense worthlessness and wondering what’s the point, what’s my point in being here. I know I’m not the only one who feels like this at times. I’m not claiming that at all. Logically I know it’s not true, it’s just hard to believe some times. This happens once or twice a month, when it’s this bad. Well, maybe not this bad that often, but yeah. I don’t know. I don’t feel that way right now. Sometimes it lasts a while, other times it’s fleeting. I am a fickle beast I think, ha ha. I can never make up my mind. 😛

Holy moly and flying pigs! Look at this post! 2700+ words. And the odd tenses. I think it changes…a lot. And probably doesn’t make much sense. But that’s how I post. I post how I talk and you can’t edit things when you’re talking ;). Okay, okay, sometimes I edit, but with this one, nah. I hope that helps you all understand a little about yesterday’s post. You can all share in how utterly ridiculous I was and laugh. Eventually I will laugh along with you, but not today.

                                                                                                                      

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2 Comments

  1. This makes for a great short story in the “it could have been worse” category. I see so many opportunities for you to amplify the story with humor and it would be a hoot and a half!

    I imagine it was traumatic at the time, but, now that it’s over, it really is kind of funny. 😉

    Reply
    • Oh, I’m laughing about it now. Maybe I’ll get around to rewriting it (probably not, lol) to add some humour. Unfortunately I don’t have quite your knack for it….yet, I’m hoping.

      It was SO traumatic at the time because all I could think of was Adeline telling me the stuff never comes out of anything and I knew (in the very back of my mind) that the floor wasn’t a big deal, it was the clothes and carpet. Those can be replaced, it just would have been an unnecessary hassle. And the entire time Sylvain was crying which made me sad and I didn’t know what to do first (clean up, or call asking about the medicine). If I ever do get around to re-writing it, I’ll let you know ;).

      Reply

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